When I was born the really nice nurse gave me my first test. Mommy says I should get used to tests because I will have a lot of them throughout my life. She doesn’t think the state of NY should rely on tests to judge what a student knows because those tests just require students to recall information and not actually display understanding of the topic. She says some kids are not good test takers. Luckily, I’m not one of those kids.

The nurse explained that the test I received is called the APGAR test. It helps determine whether babies like me need additional medical assistance when we are born. I got a 9-10 score. Daddy tells me it’s not polite to brag so I will say this as politely as I can, That’s an AWESOME score!

Most babies pass the subsequent hearing test in about 20 minutes. I made quick work of that nonsense and passed it in a short 8 minutes. I had more important things to do like snuggling with my newly introduced Mommy and Daddy.

Now that I’m a month and a half old I decided to start showing my understanding of the world. For example, when Mommy looks wicked tired I know it’s time to sleep through the night. She keeps telling everyone that “her sleep” is the thing she has the most trouble doing without. In fact, yesterday I slept through the whole night. Yes I did! 8 and a half hours straight. Mommy finally sent Daddy into my room to make sure I wasn’t dead and he said my diaper was so full Mommy would have to wash the bassinet linens. She doesn’t like doing laundry but when she folds it she shows me each item and tells me all about the polka dots or embroidered sayings, and what colors they are (like I don’t already know… psht). Just because I can’t roll over doesn’t mean I don’t know what a seersucker stripe is!

Actually, let’s talk about that for a minute. What’s up with tummy time? Who came up with that idea? I would like to meet them and express my disappointment with this activity. Just to spite Mommy I try to spit up every time she lays me helplessly on my little tummy. She’s gotten wise to me and puts a burp cloth under me now. Rats!